Based on the “B-” Owen Gleiberman gave Terminator Salvation in Entertainment Weekly, I expected a mildly mediocre action movie with some definite low points but a high point or two along the way. My expectations were half right — the highs were sorely lacking. “Salvation” is easily the worst film I’ve seen this year, and were I to suddenly start assigning letter grades in my reviews, I would counter Gleiberman’s “B-” with a solid “D”. This movie didn’t work for me from frame one. I didn’t like the look, a lot of the special effects were poor, the script was astonishingly bad, and the direction was, to be kind, extremely uneven.

Let’s start with the screenplay… It’s murky, it’s uninvolving and it’s illogical. For all of the ribbing I gave Star Trek, Terminator Salvation makes that film look like the Aristotelian ideal. Yet again, I’m astonished that Hollywood would hand the keys to such a powerhouse franchise to the guys who brought you Halle Berry’s Catwoman. Remember, folks, that somewhere in the 1980s Show Business began transforming into, well, Just Business. The people in charge at the moment neither know nor care about the things that make a story good or not good. It’s all about bottom line. Which certainly begs the question Why does this writing team continue to work despite the fact that Catwoman bombed? My assumption would be that these guys know how to work the system. In the Hollywood of today, being an effective political animal is more important that being talented.

Which brings us to director McG. The guy can’t tell a story or work effectively with actors. If there was any doubt of that going into Terminator Salvation, those doubts are out the window now. Let’s forget about the fact that the movie is occasionally disjointed and tonally “off”… One of the things that bugged me most about “Salvation” was the acting style. Since this style is consistent throughout the picture and applies to nearly every actor, guess who’s accountable? Good ol’ McG — this is clearly something he asked for and got. Let me be a little more specific: The McG brand of film acting has two elements: 1) Actors must talk in a throaty whisper ala Christian Bale’s Batman or the Clint Eastwood of old and 2) Before an actor may reply to another actor, he must wait roughly ten seconds. The movie is full of these pregnant pauses and they’re tremendously grating. Despite his deficiencies, though, I’m sure that McG (and others like him) will continue to work and the overall quality level of Hollywood movies will continue to go down. I keep thinking that, the older I get, the less I want to go to the theater. As a lifelong movie buff, that makes me really sad.

Post Script:

Terminator Salvation’s opening weekend box office estimates are running at roughly 43 million dollars — a distant second to Ben Stiller’s sequel to A Night at the Museum. Warner Brothers is, of course, doing some spin control. They maintain that the reason for the lackluster opening is the fact that it coincides with the basketball playoffs. You know what? I’m willing to meet them halfway on that. There could be a modicum of truth to that statement. How crazy would it be, though, if they were to actually man-up and say “You know what? The movie’s not as good as it could have been. The audience wanted a story and we gave them a Product. We’ll try harder next time”?

Post Script #2:

Chud.com just posted a fascinating piece paralleling the script for Terminator Salvation and the finshed film. While the script sounds no better than the movie, they do make a convincing case as to what exactly went wrong during the making of the flick.

I went into Star Trek really wanting to love it.  I have a fondness for the Kirk/Spock/McCoy era of episodes/films, and it’s been a bumpy enough couple of weeks that I was really looking forward to some good ol’ Summer Movie Fun. As it is, I merely liked Star Trek, but that’s hardly the end of the world, is it?

Let me start off by saying that director J.J. Abrams and his crew get a whole lot more right than they do wrong. The movie looks fantastic, the actors are generally quite good and there are many, many moments that will make fans of “classic era” Star Trek smile. Honestly, this film has a high likability quotient and it would be hard for me to imagine anyone giving it an out-in-out pan. So, why aren’t I gushing over it the way the mainstream press seems to be? Well, honestly, I think the script needed another pass. Again, the vast majority of the story is engaging and likable, but there are a couple of logic holes through which you could drive a space truck. If I’m forced to pause and consider a plot point in your movie, that means that I’m not engaged with what’s happening on the heels of that plot point, and that’s not good for me or you. [For more on this, skip down below the asterisk. Never let it be said that I spoiled anyone's first viewing.]

Bottom line: Should you go see Star Trek? Oh, hell yeah you should. You’re going to have a good time and you’re going to look forward to the inevitable sequels. Just don’t expect the movie to be perfect.

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Most of my problems with the story hinge around a mid-movie detour to an ice planet. Allow me to elaborate…

1. Why in the world would Young Spock banish Kirk from the Enterprise when he could have just as easily put him in the brig? (KIrk was unconscious, after all, and no longer a threat.) I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Young Spock’s behavior was, at best, unorthodox and, at worst, a grievous violation of Starfleet regulations. This is ironic since Spock is later removed from command based on his adherence to said regulations.
2. In a similar vein, why would Nero banish Old Spock to the self-same ice planet to which Young Spock banished Kirk? Nero’s stated aim in capturing Spock was to have him watch the destruction of Vulcan. Could Spock not have done this just as easily from the bridge of Nero’s ship? In fact, wouldn’t the view have been even better?
3. Don’t you find it wildly implausible that, again, on this magical ice planet Scotty has also been banished and that his presence there represents Kirk’s only way of getting back on the Enterprise?
4. Are these nitpicks? No, I don’t think they are. This ice planet and this series of banishings are nothing more than a plot contrivance so that Kirk can meet Old Spock and get the 411, and then meet Scotty so that he can get back into the thick of things and act upon what Old Spock has told him. Honestly, you’ve got such a big property on your hands and you’re doing so many things right… Why not take a little more time and massage this section of the story? That’s all I’m saying.

Still, things could have been a lot worse. This Star Trek reboot was brought to you by the same team of writers behind Transformers — and I found that film nearly unwatchable. Either these guys have gained some artistic ground since Transformers or J.J. Abrams is just a better filmmaker than Michael Bay. It’s probably a little bit of both.

Post Script:

As of this writing (Sunday evening), Star Trek is estimated to have finished the weekend with a very healthy 72.5 million dollar take. Meanwhile, Wolverine has dropped off roughly 68%. I can’t say  as I’m surprised at all by that latter factoid. Word of mouth is a bitch.