Monthly Archive for March, 2009

Monsters vs. Aliens (3D)

I can sum up Monsters vs. Aliens for you in two words: “It sucks”. It has none of the charm or the heart of Kung Fu Panda — in fact, it’s so much like the prior (pre-Panda)  entries  from Dreamworks Animation’s back catalog that I’m willing to write off “Panda” as a fluke.  Honestly, I should have known what I was in for given that some of the same minds that brought us Shark Tale were also behind Monsters vs. Aliens.  If you didn’t see Shark Tale, count yourself fortunate:  it’s probably the worst of the Dreamworks movies to date and that’s really saying something. I can’t even quite figure out who “Monsters” was supposed to be for. It’s shot through with broad, easy humor that adults won’t find funny and kids won’t get. In other words, nobody wins.

So, some of you out there might be asking “Okay, fine, but how was the 3D?” I can sum that up in one word: “Meh”. Was it bad? Not at all. Is it the FUTURE of movies as Jeffery Katzenberg and James Cameron would have us believe? I can’t see how it could be. The overall effect wasn’t unpleasant by any means but it also made little to no impression upon me. The truth is, if I never see another film in 3D, I doubt I’ll miss it. Jeff, Jim, c’mere for a sec… You guys want to know the secret to getting an audience and keeping it? You want to know how to get asses in seats? Gather ’round ’cause I’m only going to say this once…

Make better movies.

Update 04/10/09:

Jerry Beck of Cartoon Brew pretty much pops the 3D-is-the-coming-thing balloon in this very well-reasoned piece.

Excalibur

For many weeks in a row, the weekend has brought an 80s film and this week was certainly not an exception. This time out, the news is particularly good: John Boorman’s 1981 Arthurian epic Excalibur holds up remarkably well. In fact, other than the production design for Camelot (the place looks a little wonky to me), I can’t think of anything critical to say about the film. The script is good, the directing and cinematography are top notch and the cast (featuring the likes of Liam Neeson, Helen Mirren and Patrick Stewart) is universally good. Of particular note is Nicol Williamson, who’s eccentric take on Merlin the Magician is indelible. If you see Excalibur, you will remember Williamson for many years to come.

I like Excalibur quite a bit and I predict that I will not wait another ten years or so before I revisit it.

I Love You, Man

Hot on the heels of our recent enjoyment of Role Models, the missuss and I took in I Love You, Man during one of our all-too-infrequent Date Nights. Though not as consistently funny as “Models”, I Love You, Man is, nevertheless, a good time at the movies. Its primary failing is that — like a lot of comedies these days — it’s twenty or thirty minutes too long. That being said, I dug on the characters, the actors are all good (particularly Paul Rudd, who manages to be not only likable but cringe-inducing all at once), and it’s got many laughs. Like Role Models, I Love You, Man places just the right amount of emphasis on straightforward narrative, relatable characters and a resolution that has you leaving the theater on an up note. A good time was had by all. And by “all”, I mean the two of us. You know… me and the old lady.

[By the by, I Love You, Man prominently features my favorite band from high school: RUSH. Seeing the flick made me want to revisit the great albums this power trio did way back  in the late 1970s and early 80s. Unfortunately, this will require me to re-acquire them all on iTunes since I owned them on vinyl -- a medium which is at least two formats old. Lord, I am ancient.]

The Children of Odin

I love mythology, but there’s always a problem with reading it in any great quantity: the stories have a tendency to devolve into mutual contradiction, and in some cases, incomprehensibility. The Children of Odin, Padraic Colum’s great retelling of the Norse myths, goes some distance toward addressing these problems. Colum’s main innovation is in continuity — he takes some pains to space the events out so that they link together in a way that not only brings narrative logic, but also suspense. A causality is present that isn’t typically there in a more straightforward gathering of myths and legends. In other words, Colum works harder than most people do when they try their hand at a massive retelling of this kind. He’s not entirely successful in part because the material doesn’t support it. Ragnarok (the Norse Apocalypse) is, in its own way, just as opaque and confusing as the Christian Book of Revelation. For that reason, the last chapter of The Children of Odin is a bit of an anti-climactic head scratcher. This final battle constitutes a tiny percentage of the overall work, however, so it’s not a mortal blow. In fact, The Children of Odin is not only very readable, it’s fun.

ONLIVE

At this point in time, there are three major video game consoles: the Microsoft X-Box 360, the Sony Playstation 3, and the Nintendo Wii. All three of these boxes have vastly different development paths making creating a single title for all three a difficult and costly proposition. Yet it’s also not cost effective to do games which are exclusive to only one platform. Production budgets have grown far too high to risk such a strategy. Not surprisingly, many developers have been calling for an end to the multi-platform era. Given the fact that the three major consoles are produced by three distinct and highly competitive companies, the One Console notion seems a little pie in the sky. There would be just no way to get Microsoft, Sony and Nintendo to agree on a system spec and, anyway, why would they? I’m sure they’d all be perfectly happy continuing to conduct business according to their own well-honed corporate personalities.

Now, for the first time, I can see some light at the end of the tunnel regarding this notion of a single distribution channel for all games. At this week’s Game Developer’s Conference, a new service/device called ONLIVE was announced and demonstrated. In a nutshell, here’s what it’s all about: ONLIVE has a crapload of seriously high-end computers capable of running the most system intensive games on the market. They run the game and beam it to your computer in (virtually) real time. You don’t even have to have a decent machine yourself since all of the rendering and game logic is handled on their end. Basically what you’re getting is an interactive “broadcast” of the game from their server farm. They also have an inexpensive device which you can use to connect the feed to your television. This all sounds amazingly elegant to me and I’d love to try it out. Here’s the president/founder of ONLIVE discussing the service with XPlay’s Adam Sessler…

Also, here’s a link to ONLIVE’s website if you’d like more of the particulars.

The Bloom County Library

There’s been a trend the past few years of publishing the entirety of a classic comic strip’s run in handsome (sometimes “super deluxe”) hardcover books — every single strip, Sunday and daily.They’re in the midst of doing it with Peanuts (no small project that since it ran for more than forty years); Popeye has an ongoing series of books; there’s a deluxe version of The Far Side strips; and there’s even an exhaustive set of — are you ready for this? — Dilbert. Out of all of them, the one that I’ve come closest to buying is The Complete Calvin and Hobbes — a set of three ginormous hardcover books with a combined weight of twenty-two pounds (you read that right — twenty-two). The one I really want though is Bloom County — my hands-down favorite strip of all time. Whenever I see an interview with creator Berke Breathed, he’s asked whether or not BC will ever get the “complete treatment”, and for years he’s said “no, not interested”. Well, apparently he’s had a change of heart because this coming October will mark the release of the first volume of The Bloom County Library. Each book will contain approximately two years worth of strips (for a combined total of five volumes — my math, not theirs: Bloom County ran for roughly nine years). Here’s the press release:

“Bloom County Library to Collect Entire Run of Classic American Comic Strip”

Oh, and here’s that crazy Calvin and Hobbes thing I was talking about…

Role Models

I gotta say that I was really pleasantly surprised by Role Models. Don’t get me wrong — I expected it to be funny, but I didn’t expect it to be as well-written as it was. Not only was it consistently amusing, it was  nicely structured too. Unfortunately, this is something a lot of comedies forget. If you want your film to have any sort of longevity, you can’t just have laughs, you have to have a viable structure and relatable characters — in other words, you need a decent story. Role Models delivers on both fronts — so much so that it reminded me of some of the strong comedies of the 70s and 80s. Had this film been made a decade or two earlier, the Paul Rudd character probably would’ve been played by Bill Murray. And speaking of Rudd, he’s really terrific in this. I’ve always liked the guy (probably starting with his regular role in the last couple of seasons of Friends), but he shows that he’s really capable of some heavy lifting in “Models” (particularly when you factor in that he not only acts in the film, but he co-wrote the script). Seeing Role Models made me a little more keen to see I Love You, Man, Rudd’s latest comedy co-starring Jason Segel. As you may remember, Segel’s last big screen vehicle was Forgetting Sarah Marshall, a film which I reviewed favorably here on The Cove. Well, I saw “Sarah Marshall” again not too long ago and it didn’t do as well with me upon second viewing. Mostly what I noticed was the misshappen structure and the long bits without laughs. I have a weird feeling that, were I to revisit Role Models again in a few months, it would fare better than Forgetting Sarah Marshall. As I said, “Models” is nicely plotted and consistently funny throughout.

Wolfenstein 3D for the iPhone

id Software’s Wolfenstein 3D, it could be argued, was the first true first-person shooter. John Carmack –  id’s Technical Director (and programming god) — just did a conversion of the classic 1992  game for the iPhone. His notes about that process are actually pretty engrossing (well, to those of you with an interest in game development, anyway). I for one will be downloading the game when it’s released to the App store.

During Wolfenstein 3D’s climax, you get to fight “Robo-Hitler”. I  mean, come on — how cool is that?!

[Click the image to link to Carmack's notes.]

Rogue Leaders: The Story of LucasArts

My history with video games falls into distinct, easy to define eras. First there was the Atari 2600 era, then the Sega Master System era, the Sega Genesis/Super Nintendo Entertainment System era, and then the PC Gaming era (which, to some extent, continues to this day). The  heyday for gaming on Windows machines was, for me, in the early to mid-1990s. During that time, I was, I am not afraid to admit, a rabid LucasArts fan-boy. In the company’s storied early years, nearly everything they did was kick-ass. They practically wrote the book on “point and click” adventure games with titles like The Secret of Monkey Island, Day of the Tentacle, Sam and Max Hit the Road, and Full Throttle being true standouts in the genre. Not only were these games cleverly designed, they were genuinely funny — witty even. Then there were the Star Wars games… games that not only paid the license its proper due, but expanded upon the mythos in credible and exciting ways. For my money, X-Wing, TIE Fighter, Dark Forces, and Dark Forces II: Jedi Knight are still amongst the best PC games ever made. So, you can imagine my excitement when I first heard about the book Rogue Leaders: The Story of LucasArts. You can probably also extrapolate the level of my disappointment when I tell you that the book is a pretty mediocre effort.

“Rogue Leaders”  starts well enough with a thorough accounting of the events of the early years. We get what seems to be a credible timeline of the division’s founding, and we hear from most of the heavy hitters who were present during that formative era. The book loses its footing, however, as LucasArts diversifies and begins publishing more and more titles. As there is more to discuss, author Rob Smith does a progressively more cursory job — until most of the games from the later years are given incredibly short shrift. In fact, I think that many of them would have been better left unmentioned than given the tremendously superficial treatment they are. Also, it seems clear to me that this book was not only rushed but poorly edited. As we enter into the final chapters, things get alluded to and are never mentioned again. To borrow a term from the world of film, it was obvious to me that parts of this book were left on the cutting room floor and the seams were never repaired. It’s too bad too since LucasArts deserved a better history than it gets in “Rogue Leaders”.

Ah, well, it’s not a total loss… As I said, the early chapters are good and there are plenty of pretty pictures. Whatever you do, just don’t pay the sixty dollar retail price for this one. Get it at a discount from Amazon. That way you can at least be okay with the fact that the book doesn’t quite live up to its potential.

Dreamscape

You didn’t think I was done with 80s-palooza yet, did you?

Much like some of the other flicks from this ongoing/intermittent marathon, I hadn’t seen Dreamscape in 20+ years, and I’m happy to report that it follows in the footsteps (more or less) of War Games and Big Trouble in Little China. By that I mean, that it’s actually pretty entertaining (even if it’s not quite on par with those other two movies) . The script is clever, and the cast (which includes Dennis Quaid, Max Von Sydow, and Christopher Plummer) manages to elevate the material still further. Dreamscape drops into the second stringer category largely because of some cheesey special effects, some sloppy directing, and a truly poor synthesizer score from composing luminary Maurice Jarre (who, of course, did considerably better work in Lawrence of Arabia).

A friend of mine and I often lament the fact that the “B” movie is largely a thing of the past. Oftentimes — despite budgetary restrictions — it was the “B” pictures where you got some of your most clever ideas. Dreamscape is certainly proof of that.

Banjo the Woodpile Cat

A Little History:

‘Round about the mid 1970s, animator Don Bluth was being groomed as a director at Disney Feature Animation, but he had a problem: he wasn’t learning fast enough. It’s long been a rule of thumb that it takes around ten years of dedicated study to become a master animator and Bluth had roughly five years to do it in before more of the fabled Nine Old Men were scheduled to retire. Being sincerely devoted to the art of animation, Bluth and several cohorts decided that they would take on a side project to accelerate the speed with which they were growing as artists. They set up a makeshift production studio in Bluth’s garage and set about creating a thirty minute film which eventually became known as Banjo the Woodpile Cat. They did this with the blessing of the more senior animators at Disney who understood that “Banjo” was designed from the outset to bring its makers up to speed in the techniques of Disney hand-drawn animation. The problem was that those techniques were either rapidly deteriorating or becoming lost all together under a post-Walt management which was severely cost-conscious (and, it might be said, not particularly creative). Bluth and his little band — all of them weaned on such opulently-styled Disney classics as Snow White, Pinocchio, and Bambi –became increasingly disenchanted with the direction of the studio until, finally in 1980, they decided to strike out on their own. “Banjo”, originally designed to prepare them for their future at Disney, became their calling card for a future without Disney. The piece was sufficiently polished to land them a feature deal at MGM, and production began on The Secret of NIMH.  Though not a box office bonanza by any means, “NIMH” recalled the Disney style of old well enough to not only garner critical acclaim but also attract the attention of Steven Spielberg. Bluth’s second feature as director was a co-production with Spielberg: An American Tail. Roughly concurrent with these two productions were the now classic laser disc arcade games Dragon’s Lair and Space Ace for which Bluth et al did the fabulous traditional animation.

It could probably be argued that Bluth’s films became progressively (and perhaps ironically) less and less Disney-like as they went on. Though Don Bluth had a career stretching into the late 1990s, his latter work is generally pretty lackluster both in terms of production value and story quality. Oddly enough, it was Bluth’s defection (along with eighteen other Disney-ites) in 1980 which spurred the studio to rebuild its animation department and eventually rise to great heights again with films like The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, and The Lion King. Disney was able to “re-Disney-fy” itself, returning to some of the core aesthetic that Walt helped found, while Bluth fell further and further away from the “true faith”. (The less said about films like Rockadoodle and A Troll in Central Park, the better.)

The Banjo DVD:

Bluth himself (who must be pushing 70 by now) just issued a 30th anniversary commemorative edition DVD of Banjo the Woodpile Cat. The show wasn’t just a portfolio piece — it did air on network television in the early 1980s (so it’s not just a footnote in animation history). Having just sat through the program and all of its accompanying extras, I can now say that I wish I had watched the extras first. I watched “Banjo” first and found it to be fairly mediocre; even awkward in places. It was only after I watched the interviews on disc two (and learned some of the history related above) that I appreciated the film in context. Though it’s still not great, it helps to know that “Banjo” was the work of students, attempting to learn their craft in a sincere way which paid homage to the traditions of the medium. As a transitional piece into The Secret of NIMH (which I have fond, if fuzzy memories of) “Banjo” is an interesting curiosity as well. All in all, I’m glad I made this purchase — although I readily concede that it’s probably an item that only animation nerds (such as myself) are likely to pick up.

The Curmudgeonly Gamer — 03.19.09

Here’s another batch of games that I’ve looked at recently. I think I’m going to stop flagging these entries as reviews — “pseudo” or otherwise. Sometimes, I’ve formed these opinions based on an hour or less of game play time, and it doesn’t seem quite fair to invoke the term “review”. When I’ve gone to the trouble to play a game in it’s entirety and I have some definite thoughts about the complete experience, I’ll bring the term review back into it.

Anyway, here’s the latest from the gaming salt mines:

Age of Empires: Mythologies:

Despite my seeing a couple of decent reviews for this title, I found it to be a fairly lackluster strategy game — not at all on par with, say, Final Fantasy Tactics or Advance Wars. Everything about this game just seemed to say ‘Tactics Lite’. Not awful, certainly, but also far from inspiring.

And speaking of Advance Wars

Advance Wars: Dual Strike:

By comparison, Advance Wars: Dual Strike is a considerably better product with strategy that — at least at first blush — is deeper than “Mythologies”. My main stumbling blocks here were with the unrelenting dialogue (which, while not out-and-out inane, didn’t bring much to the proceedings in my view). Clicking through endless text between missions got old fast. Also — and this is perhaps a subjective point — since the units represent groupings of men and mechanized war machines, I was considerably less invested than I was in Final Fantasy Tactics Advance 2 where the units represent individuals each with their own unique ability set. Still in all, I was intrigued enough by “Dual Strike” to perhaps check out Advance Wars: Days of Ruin which I believe is a more recent release. Maybe they’ve cut down on the not-so-snappy patter.

Dragon Quest IV: Chapters of the Chosen:

Okay, lesson learned: between Chrono Trigger and this, I just need to stay away from old school RPGs — particularly Japanese old school RPGs which tend to be both overly cute and ponderous at the same time (a neat trick, I feel). Like Advance Wars: Dual Strike, Dragon Quest IV: Chapters of the Chosen has a seemingly endless stream of inane dialogue which the player has to continually advance through. When the majority of the interactivity in your game is this sort of pointless button-mashing, it’s time to re-think your game (and time for those of us who’re playing your game to wonder if it’s truly a game at all).

Warhammer Online:

And finally, Warhammer Online, the massively multiplayer online game that went live several months ago. Despite being avaiable all that time, I just got around to trying it out recently thanks to a ten day free trial offered by the game’s publisher. Upon hearing about this free trial, I underwent a lengthy download and install, played the game for a couple of hours, and promptly forgot about it until it expired — not a ringing endorsement, I know. So, what went wrong? Well, for the most part, nothing. “WO” is a perfectly decent online game — or it would be were it not for the eight hundred pound gorilla sharing the room: World of Warcraft. “WoW” does so many things so well, that it really is foolhardy to try and compete with it on its own turf. Where “Warhammer” tries to replicate the single player experience of questing etc. that “Warcraft” excels at, it mostly falls short by comparison. Fortunately for “Warhammer”, it has a player-versus-player componant that is supposed to be quite good. Unfortunately for me, I don’t give a tiny rat’s ass about player-versus-player so I guess you could say “Warhammer” wasn’t my cup of tea. Like Fallout 3 in my last games-related rant, I’m going to call “no harm, no foul” and move on.

Neil Gaiman on The Colbert Report

Author Neil Gaiman (who’s gotten a fair share of virtual ink here at the Cove) appeared on Comedy Central’s Colbert Report last night. Here’s the clip (I particularly like the bit about The Lord of the Rings):

Colbert very clearly is a dyed-in-the-wool geek — which makes him strangely endearing.

Pay The Writer: Part Deux

Harlan Ellison is at it again…

According to chud.com, the venerable writer is suing Paramount and the Writer’s Guild of America for lack of proper compensation related to “City on the Edge of Forever”, the 1967 episode of Star Trek which he penned and which is widely regarded as a classic entry from the original TV series. Here’s a snippet from the Chud piece:

Ellison is known almost as much for his fierce protection of his work as he is for the work itself, and has frequently gone to court to seek vindication.  The issue in the past has been how much of it was warranted and how much was frivolous ego-tripping.  In this case, Ellison’s suit states, “To some extent, this case is about the degree to which the producers have co-opted the WGA and how the WGA in various ways improperly screens out contractually legitimate claims by its individual members to avoid rocking the boat,” The dollar figure isn’t stated in the suit, but Ellison is going for the deluxe litigation package of performance, compensatory, consequential and punitive damages.

I love this guy!

Here’s a link to the whole story on chud [and I think their original source was Variety].

Taken

Taken:

Here’s the quickest way I know of to encapsulate Taken with Liam Neeson:  Take Jason Bourne, age him up into his late forties or early fifties, give him considerably clearer motivation than he ever had in any of his own movies, and you get Taken.  Obviously this one’s been around for a few weeks, but I just got around to seeing it last night. Apparently I’m not the only one: Taken is showing some amazing staying power at the box office and, honestly, I’m not at all surprised. As we walked out of this flick, I said to my friend that I totally get why Liam Neeson agreed to do the role and I understand completely why the movie is a sleeper hit. It’s a good, solid action movie with a compelling hero who’s got a serious problem: his young daughter has been kidnapped by Albanian White Slavers and he’s got 96 hours to get her back before she disappears forever.  I think you’ll find if you decide to take this picture in that my Bourne analogy is a fair one. The action scenes are even shot in what I’ve come to refer to as “Bourne-o-vision”. This isn’t a slam, however, since, like a lot of people, I enjoyed the Bourne pictures.

Anyway, if it’s a lazy day and you’re wondering what to take in at your local multiplex, you could do a lot worse than Taken. You’ll get to see Paris and you’ll get to see Liam Neeson lay waste to some seriously despicable villains. There’s not a thing wrong with any of that.

This Week’s Box Office:

The other side of the coin to Taken’s persistency at the box office would be Watchmen’s precipitous 78% drop from last week to this. It’s not at all unusual for a film to fall 50% from its first weekend to its second, but 78% is pretty troubling (Warner Brothers can’t possibly be looking at these numbers with anything other than disappointment, in other words). It’s a shame, really. People seemed to be saying with the grosses from The Dark Knight that they wanted their superhero movies to be complex and challenging. I guess Watchmen was too complex and challenging for them.